be the water bearer
bring us something from the river
Forgive me if you’ve already heard this part of my meditation-guide-origin-story, but I’m sharing it today to illustrate something I think that is going to be very important as we move forward as a collective.
I started meditating regularly in 2002. It was all very traditional. On Sunday evenings from 6-7pm I went to a mindfulness meditation class at a nearby yoga studio. I would use the teacher’s dharma talks as fodder for my daily meditations until the next Sunday class.
I was devout, I meditated exactly how the teacher said we should - sitting up straight, no music, following the breath, releasing all preferences, accepting suffering, being as much like the monk on the mountaintop as possible…
I went on in this way for about 9 years.
Looking back, I can see that even though the Sunday night class was a group experience and I still appreciate the teacher who taught it, for all intents and purposes, I was a solo meditator. Mystically, metaphysically, I was on my own.
Then, in 2011 I went to a weekend workshop with Amanda Foulger from The Foundation for Shamanic Studies. (Side note: sadly, the wonderful, one-of-a-kind place where this and many other FSS workshops were held - Nature Friends - burned down a few weeks ago in the Eaton fire.)
A very small part of this particular weekend experience in 2011 was Amanda guiding us to meditate on the behalf of someone else – another student in the group – and then emerge from that meditation and share what you saw with the person you meditated for.
While I was meditating for the person I had been paired with (and essentially just met) I saw some strange things – elements that didn’t usually populate my meditative spaces.
I was so shy to tell the person I was meditating for what I saw.
But, when I did, her whole demeanor changed. What I saw helped her enormously; and brought her both clarity and confirmation. What I saw in meditation also connected us - two strangers - in that moment in a profound and magical way.
It was then I realized, “Oh, I’ve been meditating in my own little bubble, this whole time.”
From there, I began breaking apart my solitary practice and turning it into something that could be shared. As the good results started rolling in, I was inspired to break more “traditional meditation rules” (for instance I think it’s great if you want to wear headphones to help you meditate or meditate at a “weird” time of day or have your eyes open when you meditate, and so on…).
A few months after that FSS workshop, still in 2011, I started guiding meditations in my backyard for friends. And once I started teaching at Spellbound Sky about a year later, my life’s work took on a life of its own. A life it never would have had if I had stuck with a traditional, solitary meditation practice.
Even though I mostly meditate on my own (without others around me), my meditations are and forever will be in service to all the collectives I belong to. Very often, coming out of what looks like a solo practice, I take action that ends up benefiting someone else (which, secretly, is selfish on my part, because I am primed with the knowing of how good it feels to bring something helpful to someone else… I know how good it will feel because I already felt the feeling in meditation).
I share this with you today because tomorrow is a new moon in Aquarius and the Lunar New Year and it is an ideal time to broaden the scope of our inner work – to create beneficial ripple effects not only for ourselves, but for others (human and more-than-human) as well.
Which brings me to the central metaphor of our Aquarius meditation – in this experience, we are guided to become the water bearer who brings water from the river to whomever needs it. In the meditation, we get to FEEL how GOOD it FEELS to be the one bringing the water to those who need it. Then, we also learn to see that whoever we brought the water to may represent a part of ourselves or our world that needs hydration.
I bet if I wrote a meditation where we found this magic river and drank as much water as we could and then polluted it so no one else can drink it, or hoarded the water in some way, it would not be a very fun or effective meditation practice.
Last week, I took myself through a little thought experiment where I imagined I had $422 billion dollars and then someone told me – Jessica, the Billionaire – that I could solve world hunger for $6 billion. Then, I felt my way into what it would be like to withhold the $6 billion – it felt awful. Then, I felt my way into what it would feel like to hand over the $6 billion – it felt wonderful.
How sad, that some people who have $422 billion dollars have hearts so corroded that they wouldn’t want to give the $6 billion for the big-man-ego-hero worship alone.
Humans are pack animals. We need each other and the world needs us. I know the geopolitical scene is sad and scary at the moment. But I beg you, don’t let their visions for the future crowd out your own.
The more beautiful world I dream of is not just great for me, it is good for all. This is the highest and best use of meditation and other contemplative practices - they take us away from our smaller sense of self and reconnect us with the truth that we are all one.
From there, we act in the world, not just for our own benefit, but the benefit of all.
And, if you feel you’ve already given everything you can, and you want just a pure, fresh start for the New Moon, I will always love this meditation and know many of you do too.
Until next time,
Jess
p.s. Our meditation coming up this Friday is all about the gifts we get when we meditate on behalf of something BEYOND our own personal interests. And… in the little talk that accompanies this week’s meditation I reveal why Vision 36 is the ONE meditation I’d love to rename. : )
it is our turn to carry the world
we are each other’s safety
right now, and every day
decide who you will protect
yourself, your own and who else
it’s time to cover all that we love
land, creature, place, person
intertwine your roots with mine
in this way our lives become miracles
there will be strangers
they will become comrades
we will each say our needs
we will learn to let community come closer
every part of us is a shield
our words, our trust, our hearts
our bodies in action
and the freedom to think for ourselves
we are the adaptation
no oppressor can imagine
our love is water – form-shifting power, river, vapor, life
we flood each other with belonging
we are building our stamina
we dream of the real world
we carry god, and see god, in each of our faces
your holiness is not too heavy, not for me
our attention and courage
show us the next stand to take
the next hill on which to hold each other
and if needed, the next hiding place: survive!
our imagination and memory
find the wisdom of our ancestors
find our future in the rubble
find the seeds in our songs
we choose our freedom
we keep each other’s souls intact
safer than any cage of empire
we know something better is coming
we are each other’s safety
we see each other’s freest selves
we will hold on tight, in public, in private
over and underground
and we will never let go
we will never let go
we will never let go
we will never let go
now take that piece of paper and memorize it – that is your spell of community safety. when you have it in your tongue and bones, bury it into dirt you love so the earth holds this commitment with you, with us.
axé oooo, ameen, amen, aho, and so it is
“Our world—digitally mediated, utterly consumed by capitalism—makes communication about morality very easy but makes actual moral living very hard.”
- Jia Tolentino, Trick Mirror
“I don’t know if it’s always been this bad here or if it’s just become less blurry. I don’t know if I’ve always had it this good or if I’m just seeing my privilege more clearly. I suppose every coin has two sides that we’re forced to carry. Like Trump’s front row who fill their heavy pockets with heavy hearts. And even with their riches, remain completely empty. Like they’ve never known the warmth of a home cooked meal that wasn’t steeped in greed. Why else would they need so much money? To buy land, to build mansions, to inhabit new planets, as if this will bring them closer to understanding what it’s like to not just own things, but to actually call a place your home and to feel it in your bones, a blessing that is the birthright of every living being.”
“We don’t want the earth to end. We don’t want our families, our communities, nature, beauty, art, and life itself to end. I’d venture to guess that most of us don’t actually want a comet to strike the earth killing everything off. Instead, we want billionaires to end. We want poverty to end. We want the patriarchy to end. We want discrimination, racism and ableism to end. We want our chronically ill, disabled and elderly population to feel included. We want trans, non-binary, LGBTQ people to feel safe and welcome. We want Indigenous cultures to be the stewards of the land again, abolishing colonialism. We want to feel like if we need to fall apart for a while because a family member dies, or we get sick, that bills won’t pile up over our heads, drowning us. We want to feel held and taken care of by those ‘in charge’, not exploited and run into the ground. We want free healthcare. We want to look outside and see beauty, not skyscrapers and condominiums. We want nature to be prioritized. We want to stop losing species. We want sustainable energy. We want a stable climate. We want community. We want grassroots organizations, not corporations. We want factory farming to end. We want animal cruelty in general to end. We want AI to cease. We want technological advancements to be of benefit to all beings and the earth. We want to do what we’re here to do: LOVE and CREATE.
Parsing this out is important. It’s not all or nothing. Most of us here today love the earth and are very grateful for this one wild and precious life. The 1% have the majority of the power and wealth but they are not the actual majority. It’s okay if we want the world they’ve created to end. We should want that.
…
If we’re capable of imagining dystopias (a la Octavia Butler and her now-coming-true prediction of Parable of the Sower) we’re capable of imagining utopias.”
GENEROSITY
See if you can be in touch with a core within you which is rich beyond reckoning in all important ways.
Let that core start radiating its energy outwardly, through your entire body, and beyond.
Experiment with giving away this energy – in little ways at first – directing it toward yourself and others with no thought of gain or return.
Give more than you think you can, trusting that you are richer than you think.
Celebrate this richness.
Give as if you had inexhaustible wealth.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
"Generosity is luck going in the opposite direction, away from you. If you’re generous to someone, if you do something to help him out, you are in effect making him lucky. This is important. It’s like inviting yourself into a community of good fortune."
-Twyla Tharp
"You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous. You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others who can't go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass and allowing the pleasure in other days. You go on by finding a channel for your love and another for your rage."
- Cheryl Strayed
“I realize I only have this life. It’s not perfect, but isn’t it good? Not because of what I’ve been “blessed” with or not been “cursed” with, though I suppose one could still bring that up. But for me, it’s good because I’ve been able to experience the kindness of nature and people, and partake in that kindness. And of course, there’s all the endless possibilities and opportunities to be kind to one another.”
- Mei Wen
“If you can see a thing whole…it seems that it’s always beautiful. Planets, lives….But close up, a world’s all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life’s a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. You need distance, interval. The way to see how beautiful the earth is, is to see it as the moon.”
- Ursula K. LeGuin
“When you’re part of the land and these natural systems, then the land as a sentient system—it gives you what you need from moment to moment.”
- Tyson Yunkaporta
"Make the universe your companion, always bearing in mind the true nature of all creation - mountains and rivers, trees and grasses, and humanity - and enjoy the falling blossoms and scattering leaves."
- Basho
"The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think."
- David Foster Wallace
“Also, it's really important that I share with you all my gratitude I have for you, your practice, and meditations. I know you may not fully realize this capacity of this....I am struggling very much so with everything in my life and your energy and practice really creates something positive and safe for me to look forward to every week, especially when everything may feel so dark and murky at times. I feel very grateful to you and the universe for your energy, the meditations, and most importantly, the lovely space you create every week. It's important for you to know that you are so good at what you do and I am very lucky to have you as "guide". Even though, we may not speak or be super close, when I get even an email newsletter or something, there's always some really amazing goodness and insight that is offered to help me along the way. You've been so generous and supportive. Super grateful and want you to know that.”
- L.G.
"Our strategy should be not only to confront empire, but to lay siege to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness - and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we're being brainwashed to believe.
The corporate revolution will collapse if we refuse to buy what they are selling - their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability.
Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them.
Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing."
- Arundhati Roy
Thank you, Jessica, I didn’t know that story and I’m so glad you emerged from meditation in a bubble to lead this collective! Your meditations are an essential part of my creative practice and are also a retreat and a refuge when I need them. ❤️
Ahh, So lovely to hear your meditation story. You of course changed my life all those years ago at Spellbound, with your generous meditation talent. I tell everyone and anyone to just meditate, do it any which way that works for them, but to do it. It will change their lives. Love and appreciate you. xx